hotel room ftw
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
