I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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