just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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