Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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