I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
