im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
