2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
