her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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