I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
