there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
