eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
