Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
