I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
