my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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