i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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