I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
