Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
