She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Boobs are out for the taking
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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