That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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