I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
