Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Randomize
