Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
