I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
