dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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