I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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