I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize