what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
