I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
