Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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