remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
