U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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