how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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