Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
