Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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