I can tuck mytits in my pants
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
