theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
