Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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