You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
