What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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