p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
