i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
wow bdsm is so cute
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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