well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
