He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do herpes really smell.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm like, not good at living.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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