when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize