How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
