Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
