dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
