Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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