Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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