after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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